Dream Date, Marriage & Sex

Someday, my husband will take me to Napa Valley or some Tuscany Vineyard for a surprise picnic with grapes, cheese, wine and smooches… (At least, he better be planning to before we die).

It’s one of my very few, fondest,  actual dream. As one who doesn’t care too much for hard liquor myself, having migraines and all, I much prefer a Friday evening curl up with a good old paperback and a nice, big, sexy glass of wine to anything else. And if the evening happens to end with some toe-curling, roof-raising, migraine-inducing sex, preferably of the kinky variety, well, don’t mind if I do! Ha! Certainly, more enticing than any party could ever be. At least, that’s what I say.

Sex & Marriage

I always heard that marriage is where sex lives go to die. Well, I’ll be damned if that is about to happen over here. Child, bye! We’re not in the 1800s where we pretend men are the only ones with sex drives and/or that married women all suddenly develop perpetual headaches at any signs of sexual intimacy from their husbands. In fact, that same era tolerated mistresses, so that wives could be ‘left alone’. wedding-1246897_960_720

None of that over here folks! We don’t play like that.


With-holding Sex?

Every so often, someone asks me a question about my relationship and more than a few times that question has been; Do you withhold sex from your husband when you are mad? The short answer is, no I don’t. Why would I?

In the 21st century we all like to pretend that solves something, but unless you all know something I don’t, it doesn’t and as my husband would be the first to tell me if I brought it up jokingly, that will most likely hurt me more than it does him. I can just imagine how he would calmly sit and wait for my frustrations to take over, quite possibly laughing all the while. Quite frankly, that might be a strategy for him, but not for me. No ladies, withholding sex is not in my playbook.

We vex? We have vex sex, then. But we having sex!


Grown and licensed, ladies. Don’t be squeamish!


P.S. This post was written by my alter ego, Trina. I, Shandean will know not of what you speak if you mention it. 




  • Anonymous

    If I could put on a million likes on this! Trina you snatched my edges. Well damn, even with a migraine huh, same Trina, same🤣

  • spotthebeautyblog

    Trina, you know this touch and go not going to work, I hope a series is coming on, cause girl this post drag my soul, almost took my life…nuff vex sex have to gwan goodie, nuff . lol

    • Shandean™

      Haha, yes Beauty! I will try to drag your soul more often if Shandean let’s me.


  • Princess Woodbourne

    Lol…. Girl I see one of those kinky book coming from Trina… Oh I miss the days when we use to exchange good paper back book. Wink, wink a few come to mind when I read this.

    • Shandean™

      Haha. You never know, I may already be working on it! *wink wink*


  • Jamc609

    This was spot on! Thank you for sharing so honestly about marriage.

  • allthingssexblog

    I enjoyed it. I’m so happy you wrote it in a playful way yet your points stood out.

  • Nadesha Palmer-McDermott

    That “Trina” though lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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