I posted a video on my Instagram teasing about a possible pregnancy some weeks ago. After a flurry of messages in my inbox, I came clean. I wasn’t (am not) pregnant at all. I’m under some duress from baby fever, but no, not pregnant.

Then ladies wanted to know why I looked like I was. My belly was still larger than a food baby. At one point during the day, my sister almost freaked out at how fast My abdomen was distending.

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After months of fretting about what labour would be like and my ability to handle the pain, needless to say, I had resigned myself to letting it happen. I’m pretty sure whimpier women have done it, right? (Feel free to jump in and back me up anytime here). Losing much of my mobility and excruciating sciatic pain helped me get ready. Not like when it starts I can be like, “I’m not ready“. That’s too bad though. I could have used that. (more…)

The third semester was daunting as the last stretch. In the beginning, it went by kind of fast, but by the time I had 2 months or so to go, it was as though time became a sloth. A cruel pace. It seemed everyone I knew who was pregnant had their baby and mine was especially comfortable in my tummy. I got bigger, heavier, less mobile. I read as much as I could about labour and delivery and forgot most of it almost instantaneously each time. I looked for signs of impending labour everywhere. I heard every baby’s sound even remotely within earshot. I daydreamed constantly about what she looks like. Who she looks like, what she will be like. How big she’ll be. What her cries sounded like. Even what she smelled like.

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1. My feet grew

As much as I would like to tell you this isn’t something that bothers me, it most definitely does. My feet grew. They hang off all my sandals and my closed up shoes feel like I borrowed them and they’re so tight, even my lungs rebel.  (Young gal wear yuh size!). I was originally a 7, it would appear I am now size 8 and only own 2 pairs of shoes. Someone could have told me growing feet were a thing. I expected swollen, (which, ironically, I haven’t  gotten) , but growth? Well then!

Apparently, I get to blame that on the hormone relaxin for loosening ligaments. I’ll hang on to my shoes a while longer though, see if it’s temporary. A girl can dream, right?

2. Learned 80% of spending wasn’t actually on the baby.

As first time parents, one of the things I quickly realized was that 80% of the preparations we needed to make was not actual baby items or on the baby. (Weird I know). It was lot more costly to get our space ready to include another person permanently than it was buying    the baby stuff. A significant amount of preparations were so that our space would comfortable for us with a baby in it. We needed to ‘make space‘ in our lives if you will. And that ladies and gentlemen, is what’s expensive. Making your space baby friendly when you didn’t have kids prior. How come there aren’t pamphlets with these things?

3. I Lost My Mouth Filter

How do I say this diplomatically,  I don’t give a flying fart. Now, I’ve always been very opinionated and vocal, particularly in the company of peers. (You guys kbow I’m shy and quiet around strangers. Ha!) But I find I have an almost uncontrollable urge to say exactly how I feel when I feel it. That’s not particularly cool when you have to adult and mind the feelings of others, at least feign diplomacy and be cordial and such. I could really take very little crap from folks before, but since being pregnant, It’s been decidedly harder. I’ve certainly verbally lashed a few more folks than I’m used to. Yikes!

4. Pregnancy (Baby) Brain Is A Real Thing

This isn’t even funny. I felt (and continue) to feel so out of socket. There would be days I would do something like completely forget what I’m talking about in the the middle of a conversation. Then there were days when I would search for my phone and locate it in the refrigerator, or find the salt there, or check the garbage because I couldn’t locate a plate a was sure I was supposed to be washing. And then there were more dangerous days, when I would  forget I was cooking or even that I had started and go off to take a nap. The utensils population in my kitchen has suffered a severe decline in forks during this unfortunate time, which I think my husband was all too happy about my realizing I was the cause.


5. Perpetual Sweating

(Eww, I know.) All the time, everywhere, at the slightest movement, my skin gushes water. I had initially thought that was summer’s doing, but it’s not.  Even in air conditioning specific areas of my churn out water for what seems like a absolutely no reason. Never mind a room temperature room. As a person who rarely sweated before, it’s no joy to always be wet in embarrassing patches before you arrive at your destination, no matter where it  is or how short the journey. I may have showered more in the past few months than in my entire life! And it almost just never feels like enough.

Bottom line, there are some things you’ll not hear about until you are having your own experience.

When that first positive appeared on the stick, one of the first things I envisioned was my growing belly. How would it look, how would it feel, would I like it? I was excited.

And then I was disappointed. Months passed, and my body felt just horrid and different on the inside but on the outside there was nothing.   Four months in and nothing. I knew the baby was there. I had seen it. But my mind wasn’t believing it. It wanted proof. I had the horrible nausea and lost weight and all that… and no bump. (more…)

Well, not physically. (Obviously) We are prone to forgetting that while our many symptoms as pregnant women are felt by us first hand,  our partners are experiencing it too and not less strongly, just differently. Be mindful I speak of supportive and committed partners, not ‘baby daddies‘. We may find that we underestimate what a man goes through when the woman he loves goes through this trying time.  (more…)