Behind Her Eyes: 7 Real-Life Lessons Explained

If you haven’t seen Behind Her Eyes on Netflix and you plan to, or want to savour the opportunity to do so, this post is not for you. Save it, watch and come back later. This is your official spoiler notice. Now then, if you are still reading, you have forfeited your right to complain. Here we go!

Behind Her Eyes is a psychological thriller released by Netflix on February 17, 2021, in the format of a short series. It’s based on a novel also named Behind Her Eyes by Sara Pinborogh. It’s six episodes long (or short) and is about a married couple, their curious past and a woman who becomes entangled in it all through an extramarital affair.

The show has caused much upset about the huge plot twist in the last few minutes of the show. Don’t worry, I won’t spill the beans, at least not in detail here. But I have feelings I don’t know what to do with. So I’m doing what I do. Reflect and write.

I’ll skip the detailed summary since this post is not a review of Behind Her Eyes and go straight to the end, which features a monster plot twist and ends with more than one party having lost their lives.

Besides the shock that blindsided most viewers, there are plenty of takeaways and cautionary tales that can be derived from the series. Let’s talk about seven of them.

1. When Someone Shows/Tells You Who They Are, Believe Them

Unfortunately for Adele, Rob told her exactly how he felt about her. Multiple times. However, loyalty blinded her view. She felt she knew Rob, even though he was a heroine addict, repeated several times a day that he wanted her life and was jealous. When we want to see the good in someone, we are often blinded by affection and will to ‘be that person for them.’ But we can’t save everyone. And we often don’t take very revealing actions and inferences seriously enough until it is too late.

As a fan of true crime stories, the reality is that this happens more often than we realize. People lose their lives trying not to believe what they know to be the truth about loved ones. The price tag for such a thing is usually quite heavy.

2. Do Not Commit/Participate in Adultery

Louise could have minded her business and not slept with a married man. Her friend even encouraged her to end it by highlighting the danger in it. But she wasn’t keen to listen. She wanted what she wanted, despite the consequences. She couldn’t have fathomed how severe they would have been, but imagine if she had not been entangled in the first instance.

Behind Her Eyes Netflix

I know, I know. Things happen, and ‘we are all human’. But, my sister and I have this discussion all too often and we know our shared viewpoint of accountability is not popular. Hear me out.

Adultery requires selfishness and an extension of grace to ourselves to hurt others. We know some spouses lie, but all too often people who are accommodating the cheater like to toot the bell and say “Well, I didn’t promise anybody anything.”. Perhaps so, but that does not absolve you of consequences that are a derivative of your actions and participation.

Those that willfully commit and participate know it will hurt someone else, deeply. More often than not, this person is unknowingly entered into the situation. When the deed is done, we expect accountability from the cheating partner only because they are the ones that ‘made a promise’. But, when all is said and done and a person’s emotional response is escalated, so you feel justified in telling the injured party how they should respond? Should things go awry and the cheated party gets hurt because the cheating spouse or his/her partner becomes unhappy with their lot, what then? Meh?

Personally, I believe marriage is of God and interference by a third party will have far reaching consequences from the universe. I just feel like to interfere in a covenant made with God is too much. But I’m aware not everyone is Christian or believes that.

However, imagine Louise had left the situation at the kiss when she found out David was married, and that he was her boss. She would have never ‘bumped’ into Adele.

3. Mind Your Business

Despite the entanglement, Louise continued to overreach and insert herself into the affairs of a situation that was not her business. So much so, that even with all David’s effort to warn and scare her away to protect her, she continued to make it worse. In fact, Louise went on to commit a whole crime, breaking and entering, stealing confidential information, looked up a woman to pry even more, and contact the police about a crime she knew very little about.

And then, called Adele to gloat and spill the beans. In the end, her inability to stay out of the affairs of others cost her her life. Rob knew she wouldn’t stay away, and used it to kill her. Sometimes, there is much to learn from knowing when to stop.

4. Not Everyone who Smiles with You is Your Friend

Adele thought Rob was her friend. Rob thought Louise was his friend. Be careful who you share with. Be careful what you share. Be careful with how well you let someone get to know you. Betrayal in the interest of self-preservation, self-interest, jealousy and envy is common among ‘friends’.

5. Don’t Sleep with Your Boss

Yeet! There is a saying. ‘Don’t shit where you eat.’. It’s very true. Besides all the other tomfoolery, see what happened to Louise as soon as the ‘whine’ went sour? The subordinate was thrown headfirst under the bus. I know, I know. In this instance, David was (trying) to protect her. But Louise’s swipe got sour just as quickly when she was let go (or forced to quit) and then with the threat of no/bad recommendations.

6. Children are pure souls. Trust Them More

Much to what I’m sure is/and/or will become Rob’s chagrin, Adam realized upon sight that the person before him was not his mother and something was wrong. Much to our dismay though, if he ever decides to speak up, we know there is unlikely to be anyone who will listen to him. Even worse, he may very well end up a victim.

7. Hindsight is 20/20

The entire six episodes contained tell tales sign of the plot twist, but most of us missed them. This is true for real life scenarios the character Louise as well. She only realised Rob knew of the affair all along after she learned how it was possible for her to know. But the tell tale signs were always there.

I’m sure there are other lessons, but these seven that stood out for me.

Did you watch Behind Her Eyes? What are some lessons that stood out for you?

Xo, Shandean

Find me on;

Shandean Reid

A heavily caffeinated, quintessential millennial wife and mom doing modern family life. I’m a communications professional following a five-year stint as a SAHM, switching roles with hubby, a physician and now WFHD. I also read and write books for fun! Stick around if I'm your kind of person!




  • Komal Singh

    These are some amazing life lessons. Thanks for sharing. 💙

  • comebackdaughter

    Great article! I really enjoyed this limited series. Great plot!

    • Shandean Reid

      Thank you for reading. I thoroughly enjoyed the uniqueness of the plot too.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: